A WARRIORS PARODY
by flameshadow999
Summary: read it
1. Chapter 1

A WARRIORS

PARODY

BY, FLAMESHADOW

NOTE: I DO NOT OWN THE WARRIORS. I JUST DESTROY THIER REPUTATIONS. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

IF YOU HAVE NEVER READ THE WARRIORS SERIES...

**SHAME ON YOU!!!**

**READ IT NOW!!!!!!**

**CHAPTER 1**

**"Milk duds and constapation"**

**RUSTY: Smudge... I am leaving you to go live in the wild.**

**SMUDGE: NO DONT! I LOV-... I... I uhh... Uhhh... HERE TAKE THEESE! Hands Rusty a box.**

**RUSTY: Milk duds! I do not know what to say...**

**SMUDGE: no need to thank me just pay it foward.**

**RUSTY: (Jumps off fence and begins running.) SUCKER!!! (Trips over himself three times.**

**RUSTY: Hi Graypaw.**

**Small cat enters ten seconds later.**

**CAT: You were'nt supposed to say that yet.**

**RUSTY:... Oh... Hi Graypaw!**

**GRAYPAW: (Slaps paw against face.)**

**Two cats enter.**

**BLUESTAR: Join our clan.**

**RUSTY: Yodalayhee yodalayhee yodalay heck yes!**

**BLUESTAR: Okay... Lionheart will be here tomorrow. Give him your answer then. Oh and Lionheart. When he says no and you kill him try not to get to much blood on your pelt. I just swept the clan territorry.**

**LIONHEART: Neat freak... I mean OKAY!**

**RUSTY: But I said yes!!!**

**But the cats were already gone.**

**THE NEXT DAY**

**Rusty looks at white cat.**

**RUSTY: Bluestar said Lionheart would be here!**

**CAT: How do you know that was Bluestar?**

**RUSTY: UHHH... UHHH... I... I UHHHH... secreteley throws spy gear off into the bushes. So why are you here?**

**CAT: Bluestar is constapated.**

**RUSTY: But that has nothing to do with why yor he-**

**CAT- MOVING ON!**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

**  
"Death by insomnia and twoleg poop monsters"**

**CAT: We are here.**

**RUSTY: Why yes we are. So when do we get there?**

**CAT: We are here.**

**RUSTY: Yes I know. It is beautiful and all but I would like to know when we are gonna get to the camp.**

**CAT:... We are here.**

**RUSTY: Why yes we are.**

**CAT: You moron! We are at the camp!**

**RUSTY: ... And you'r point is...**

**CAT: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!**

**BLUESTAR: Thank you Whitestorm... Now why don't you... Oh hold on a second... AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! URGGGGGG!!!!!!! EEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!... WELL... I THINK IT'S GONE... AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**big brown lump hits the ground.**

**BLUESTAR had pooped Twoleg poop.**

**BLUESTAR: It is not what it looks like...**

**RUSTY: So when do I-**

**BLUESTAR: How do you know my language!?**

**RUSTY: ... uh-oh... I mean... ME-OW!... **

**BLUESTAR: All cats fat enough to yadalayadas... Rusty...**

**RUSTY: ... Go on...**

**BLUESTAR: You will now become an apprentice.**

**RUSTY: ... Go on...**

**BLUESTAR: Rusty...**

**RUSTY: ... Go on...**

**BLUESTAR: From now on...**

**RUSTY: ... Go on...**

**BLUESTAR: you will be known as...**

**RUSTY: ... Go on...**

**BLUESTAR: Firepaw!**

**FIREPAW: (Looks around then back at Bluestar) ... Go on...**

**BLUESTAR: That was it... Enjoy your new- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**FIREPAW: ... Go on...**

**300 pound cat runs... well... rolls into the clearing with a cat in his teeth.**

**BLUESTAR: Tigerclaw what happened?... whoops just pooped a little.**

**TIGERCLAW: Redtail! He!... He was killed By a wild pack of dogs he thought he saw!**

**FIREPAW: ... Go on...**

**TIGERCLAW: Who the hell is that?**

**FIREPAW: I am RUSTY! Destroyer of tax collecters and avenger of tangelo's!!!...**

**Suddenly a giant massive pile of twoleg poo begins rampaging.**

**BLUESTAR: ... Well... That will sort its self out...**

**FIREPAW: ... Go on...**

**BLUESTAR: Good night every one.**

**FIREPAW: .. Go on...**

**TIGERCLAW: Is he broken?**

**FIREPAW: ... Go on...**

**TIGERCLAW slaps FIREPAW**

**FIREPAW: ... Go on...**

**TIGERCLAW slaps him again**

**FIREPAW: ... Go on...**

**TIGERCLAW once again slaps him.**

**FIREPAW: ... Go on...**

**TIGERCLAw walks away.**

**FIREPAW: ... Go on...**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

**" REDRUM AND MONSTER"**

**THE NEXT DAY**

**TIGERCLAW: Who is the new deputy?**

**BLUESTAR: I have put absoluetley no effort into figuring that out and I did not think of Lionheart being the deputy.**

**TIGERCLAW: Then think...**

**BLUESTAR: Ok! Lionheart!**

**TIGERCLAW: Just you wait! Four more books from now and I am gonna kill you!**

**FIREPAW: ... Go on...**

**TIGERCLAW: Oh and I am gonna try to kill you but you live.**

**FIREPAW: Sweeeeeeeet.**

**GRAYPAW: Hey you made it!**

**FIREPAW: You knew that already.**

**GRAYPAW: ... Your point is?...**

**FIREPAW: Uhhhhhh.**

**GRAYPAW: Good point.**

**BLUESTAR: Oh Tigerclaw I just read book 5... I am killed by a dog...**

**TIGERCLAW: NO! I stop Firepaw...**

**BLUESTAR: FireHEART.**

**TIGERCLAW: What eva I stop him and he gets picked up by a dog and you barrel into the dog causing you and the whole pack to go off the edge. So the chain links to me killing you and the dogs.**

**BLUESTAR: Jerk.**

**TIGERCLAW: Constepated Seanile... BIG NOSE!**

**BLUESTAR: Fatty Fatty Chubby Chucks!**

**TIGERCLAW: Rolls on back and kicks Bluestar in the face. Take that Macho Man Ravy Savege! You jerk!**

**Later that day...**

**TIGERCLAW: Rolling towards Firepaw, Ravenpaw, and GRAYPaw. RED RUM... RED RUM... RED RUM... RED RUM... RED RUM!**

**FIREPAW: wHAT IS HIS PROBLEM?**

**RAVENPAW: I saw him kill Redtail.**

**GRAYPAW: Oh that's what that is...**

**TIGERCLAW: RED RUM! RED RUM! RED RUM!!! RED RUM!!!!! RED RUM!!!!!!!!!!**

**FIREPAW: ... Go on...**

**NEXT MORNING**

**GRAYPAW: Up now train... now...**

**FIREPAW: JUmps up HI GRAYPAW! HOW ARE YOU MORNING TODAYS IN THE... DRIVEWAY!**

**GRAYPAW: LETS go.**

**FIREPAW: HE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHERE! WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!**

**GRAYPAW:...**

**FIREPAW: WHEN YOUR A KID AND YOU WANNA GO WE-EEEEE BUT YOU AINT GOT DRUGS YET!**

**AT TRAINING AREA...**

**BLUESTAR: ATTACK ME!**

**FIREPAW: OH SO THATS HOW YOUR GONNA BE! staggers over to Bluestar. HEY! YOU! AW COME ON!**

**GRAYPAW WALKS IN**

**GRAYPAW: Hi**

**FIREPAW evily looks at him.**

**FIREPAW: OH L-LOOK WHO IT IS MISTER I- DONT- HAVE- TIME- FOR- YOUR- LITTLE- LEAGEU GAMES! COME HERE YOU SON OF A MOO COW!**

**BEGINS CRYING IN GRAYPAW'S FLANK.**

**FIREPAW: WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!? WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!**

**TIGERCLAW WALKS IN AND SLAPS FIREPAW AND A GALLON CONTAINER OF THE MONSTER ASSAULT ENERGY DRINK FALLS OUT OF FIREPAW EMPTY.**

**FIREPAW: HEY I WAS USING THA... UH... IT ISN'T MINE! OH AND BY THE WAY BLUESTAR... YOU HAVE AIDS! PTUH! HA HA HA HA!**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

**"thee gAtHeRiNg"**

**Rusty: Ohhhhhhhhhh my head...**

**Graypaw: What is wrong?**

**Rusty: I think I have a Hang over.**

**Graypaw:... but... you were never dru-**

**Rusty: DON'T SAY IT!**

**Graypaw:... Okay...**

**Rusty: Good... When do we go to the gathereing?**

**Graypaw: Ummmm right now...**

**Rusty: Coolio let's go.**

**Graypaw: ... Wow... Ok... Whatever...**

**Rusty: Good.**

**Graypaw: Fine.**

**Rusty: Yeah...**

**Graypaw: Okay...**

**Rusty: Uhhhhh... Uhhhhhh**

**Graypaw: Come on you can do it!**

**Rusty : Do what?**

**Graypaw: Ummmm... Oh yeah... Nothing.**

**Rusty : Okay.**

**Graypaw: Fine.**

**Firepaw: Good.**

**Graypaw: Whatever.**

**Firepaw: Jer-**

**Graypaw: ARE YOU COMING WITH ME OR NOT!?**

**Firepaw: Yeah.**

**Graypaw: Okay.**

**Firepaw: Goo-**

**Graypaw: DON"T EVEN START!**

_**At the gathering...**_

**Bluestar: Hello clans of the forest... CAN I GET A HOO HA!**

**Cats: HOO HA!**

**Tallstar: Bluestar do we have to go over this again? YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!**

**Bluestar: Oh... Sorry...**

**Tallstar: It's ok just dont do it again ok?**

**Bluestar: Ok.**

**Tallstar: Good.**

_**Tallstar turns around to face the clans.**_

**Bluestar: Hoo ha!**

**Tallstar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

_**Turns, and launches at Bluestar.**_

**Tallstar: I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT!!!!!!**

_**Bluestar jumps out of the way and Tallstar lands on his face.**_

**Bluestar: HAHAHAHAHAHAH HOO HA! HOO HA! HOO HA!!!**

**Tallstar: RAWRG...**

_**Begins running after Bluestar who turns and runs off yelling "HOO HA!" every now and then.**_

**Graypaw: Maybe... We should go...**

**Firepaw: I think that would be a good idea...**

**Graypaw: Yeah.**

**Firepaw: Good.**

**Graypaw: Fin- ARRRRG!!!! IM GONNA CLAW YOUR FACE OFF!!!!!**

_**Claws Rusty's face off.**_

**Firepaw: YOU JERK THAT REALLY HURT!!! YOU DON'T JUST RIP PEOPLES FACES OFF ITS RUDE AND INPOLITE!!!**

**Graypaw: Whatever...**

_**Walks off.**_

**Firepaw: COME BACK I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

_**But Graypaw was gone...**_

**Rusty: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!**

**( OK WELL THAT IS THE END OF CHAPTER 4... I dont really know if that one was as funny as the other ones. Maybe you could tell me in, REVIEWS!!! )**


	5. Chapter 5

**NOW I KNOW U PPLE R PROLLY MAD AT ME FOR MY INACTIVENESS BUT IM BACK... AND... ZOMG ITS HERE!!!! IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!! **

**A WARRIORS PARODY CHAPTER 5!!! 0.O**

**CHAPTER 5!!!**

_Back at the camp..._

FIREPAW: Graypaw you left me at the gathering!!! crying

GRAYPAW: well you kind of deserved it...

FIREPAW: Name ONE good reason why I deserved it!!!

GRAYPAW: because you're annoying...

FIREPAW: oh yeah... that makes sense...

_Bluestar walks in..._

BLUESTAR: HEY! WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT???

FIREPAW: why do you want to know?

BLUESTAR: BECAUSE I AM LEADER AND I DESERVE TO KNOW

GRAYPAW: shut up Bluestar

BLUESTAR:... You shut up

GRAYPAW: You shu-

BLUESTAR: YOU SHUT UP!!!

GRAYPAW: OK!!!

_Tigerclaw rolls in..._

TIGERCLAW: Hey guys I just heard this really funny jo- ... ummmm... who is that?

GRAYPAW: Ummmm... that's Firepaw... he's been here for a while now...

TIGERCLAW: Hmmmm... Are you sure...? I don't remember this loser getting here..?

FIREPAW: HEY

TIGERCLAW: what?

FIREPAW: SHUT UP

TIGERCLAW: attacks Firepaw and kills him

GRAYSTRIPE: TIGERCLAW WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!??? YOU KILLED HIM!!!

TIGERCLAW: Uhhhh... You did it...

GRAYSTRIPE: NOOOOOO WHAT HAVE I BECOME!!!???? HEY WAIT A MINUTE???

TIGERCLAW: runs away

GRAYSTRIPE: looking at Firepaw ... Oh well...

FIREPAW: jumps up IM ALIVE!!!!!!!

GRAYPAW: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

FIREPAW: Jerk...

GRAYPAW: HEY! FIREPAW!

FIREPAW: WHATTTZ?

GRAYPAW: LETS GO BOTHER TIGERCLAW

FIREPAW: YAYYYY

_A few moments later..._

GRAYPAW: ehem Ohhhhhhh Tigerclaw...

TIGERCLAW: WHAT DO YOU WANT???

GRAYPAW: Oh nothing... Just wanted to tell you NOW!!!

FIREPAW: AHHHHH!!!!! jumps on Tigerclaw

TIGERCLAW: AHHHHH!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!! GET THIS THING OFF ME!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!! running in circles

FIREPAW: _Eats Tigerclaws brain... _Oops... That CANT be good

TIGERCLAW: (now brainless) oh hiiiiiii... strange person... How are you...

FIREPAW: Oh im good how are you?

TIGERCLAW: OH nothing i was just dreaming about purple dancing elephants in June that have nothing to do with anything... But you get used to it after a while and it is'nt a big deal anymore... But you see when i first saw... ummmmmm what?

FIREPAW: I didnt say anything...?

TIGERCLAW: oh... I... I thought you interupted me... D- DONT INTERUPT ME YOU RUDE COWARD CHICKEN-BRAINED TURKEY DINNER SUPRISE CREAMED CORN EATING THING!!!

GRAYPAW & FIREPAW: Were gonna go now... backing away slowly

**(Ya I know it sucks... But i Havent written in a while so im losen my talent? no i guess im not funny tonight... I will make another chapter later when I am hyper... But for now I need to update Ferals :P oh BTW REVIEWS!!!)**


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